Four Dongs
echophon:

Hex Collapse

echophon:

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imgfave:

Posted by allfunnypic

imgfave:

Posted by allfunnypic

yamino:

wildheartsscantbebrokenn:

zz-zonked:

derpydeer:

z33r0:

So this past weekend I was at a house party and happened to see the single most miserably neglected fish I have ever seen in my life. The water had an opaque layer of something that looked kind of like grease on top and the single fish inside was listless and shrivelled. It smelled FOUL and the guy hosting the party said that they had noticed the fish being kind of stupid since they had changed the water last time (which must have been like a fucking year ago) by just running the tub into the tank.

Being full of whiskey and compassion(?), I naturally decided that the fish was now mine and reached into that disgusting cesspool with a ziplock bag, took the fish home, cackling to myself because what I was doing was just so weird.

The next day I went out and got a tank, like, I dropped 100$ for a stolen goldfish that cost 4.38$ at PetSmart. I went to a locally owned small pet shop called Paws N’ Jaws and the woman there was super helpful and even gave me some free plants with the tank. Ended up being up til like 2 in the morning with school the next day at 8 setting the stupid thing up, panicking about dechlorinating the water etc etc.

These are his new digs, live plants, snaily companions. He’s perked up A LOT since being moved to an environment that actually has oxygen in the water, and has shown marked improvement in his ability to eat. For the first day or so, his motor skills appeared to be completely fucked up and he had a hard time swimming and eating, he would suck up food and then just spit it right back out. Now he’s having a great time, eating well harassing the snails, trying to eat the plants and zipping around the tank for no apparent reason like a moron, but a happy moron. I really enjoy watching him.. or her.

Admittedly I might have done this even if I had been sober, but I like to think this is proof that not ALL decisions made when drunk are bad ones. I regret nothing.

You are a lovely human being. <3

YOU WENT TO A HOUSE PARTY AND STOLE A GOLDFISH OH MY GOD THAT’S THE BEST DRUNKEN STORY I’VE EVER HEARD

this makes me happy 

+10 points to Hufflepuff

eatsleepdraw:

Surface
Acrylic on canvas

eatsleepdraw:

Surface

Acrylic on canvas

If homophobia were a conversation about food...
Homophobic Person: My favorite food is pizza!
Homosexual Person: Cool! My favorite food is pasta!
Bisexual Person: I like both!
Pansexual Person: Hey guys, I don't have a favorite! I'll pretty much eat what tastes good to me.
Asexual Person: I like the way food looks and smells more than the way it tastes.
Homophobic Person: whAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU DISGUSTING PEOPLE WHY ISN'T PIZZA YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?!?! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.
eatsleepdraw:

Bee Hive pattern 

eatsleepdraw:

Bee Hive pattern 

ollygollymolly:

This is my proudest moment.

ollygollymolly:

This is my proudest moment.

imgfave:

Posted by myfunnyphotos
9gag:

Best watch ever!

9gag:

Best watch ever!